As I think about trying to raise my child(ren) in an effective way, I’ve struggled with thinking of ways to make sure that my child(ren) grow(s) up to be kind to others, because I feel that kindness is one of the most important virtues one can have.

During the toddler childhood stages, kids seem to have a very strong sense of fairness, so I’ve thought that it might be effective to explain to kids that they should treat others the way they would want to be treated. It’s sometimes difficult to get kids to put themselves in others’ situations, but it’s a good exercise.

Much later on, as adults, the need for kindness is a little more apparent, and many of the social pressures to be mean don’t exist to the same extent.

But there’s that gap in between childhood and adulthood–adolescence–when people don’t have the reason of adulthood, but have more capacity for meanness than in childhood. I’ve struggled with trying to think of ways to help children be kind during that period, and a book I’ve been reading has offered a possible solution.

The book is “Never Eat Alone” by Keith Ferrazzi. It’s a book about how to build effective relationships that people can use to accomplish their goals. Although Ferrazzi has an MBA from the Harvard Business School, his analysis isn’t purely Machiavellian. In a chapter preface, Ferrazzi includes a Geroge Burton Adams quote in what seems to be a theme of the book:

There is no such thing as a self-made man. We are made up of thousands of others. Everyone who has ever done a kind deed for us, or spoken one word of encouragement to us, has entered into the make-up of our character and of our thoughts, as well as our success.”

Ferrazzi goes on to explain how people should look for opportunities to use others as keys to accomplishing goals, but that an individual should also look for opportunities to help others with their goals. He paints an inspiring picture of how people can build powerful networks to help each other, with those networks being based on the principal of service, really.

In addition to inspiring me to look for opportunities to help old acquaintances, I think that Ferrazzi’s vision is something that a 16-year-old might be able to understand, and it might motivate the good-hearted teen to look for opportunities to be kind to others.

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Posted by Cole on November 16th, 2010 :: Filed under Books,Family
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